... Wise Old Man A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home in the summer near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys full of youthful after-school enthusiasm came down his street beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing. The kids were ...

... . Why is it there ?"" It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~For the curious who might not know of the" tradition" of kissing under the mistletoe, let me provide a tiny bit of history. The history of kissing under the mistletoe means going back to ancient Scandinavia-to custom and the Norse myths:" It was also the plant of peace in Scandinavian antiquity. If enemies met by chance beneath it in a forest, they laid down their arms and maintained a truce until the next day" This ancient Scandinavian custom led to mistletoe being a symbol of love, peace and goodwill. It may be that this embrace of goodwill among enemies eventually led to the traditional kiss under the mistletoe. Some cultures say that if a man kisses a woman while she is standing under mistletoe, it is a proposal of marriage! ...

... The Cat's New Year Resolutions My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium. I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink's drain. I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage. I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur) I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files ...

... ," said God," That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be intelligent, honest, nice, modest, and genuinely caring for the planet as well as the welfare of others. They will also be extremely hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and ambassadors of peace" Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed," What about balance, God? You said there would be balance" God smiled." There is another Washington. wait until you see the idiots I put there" [Author Unknown-from 'LABLaughs ' (LABLaughs @LABLaughs.com)-Ed: Anon.] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... the sins of the fathers visited upon the children, but nowadays the sins of the children are visited upon the fathers. God Himself does not propose to judge a man till he is dead. So why should you? To make a long story short, don't tell it. If your left hand doesn't know what your right one is doing, you should consider running for a job in Washington. Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. Peace starts with a smile. I don't know why some people change churches-what difference does it make which one you stay home from? A lot of church members who are singing" Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises. We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers. Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as a committee. [Author Unknown-from 'Aiken Drum ' (Aiken @AikensLaughs.com)] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net ...

... believe that pigs fly and there is a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. But for the rest of us, these lazy, hazy, crazy days that the great Nat King Cole sang about are ideal cover for a multitude of faults. Intellectual faults, for example. Say you are far behind in your mentally stimulating reading. Say you haven ’ t been mentally stimulated since about 1982. Summer is not the time to start reading “ War and Peace ” or even Al Gore ’ s “ An Inconvenient Truth ” Your intellectually challenging exploration of Russian literature and global warming issues can definitely wait until the arrival of cooler autumn days. In the summer, you ’ re supposed to indulge in superficial beach reading (usually involving books with a picture of Fabio on the cover) even if you are nowhere near a beach. I won ’ t tell the Russians or Mr. Gore, if you won ’ t. Maybe your ...

... Special Nativity Scene A Nativity scene was erected in a churchyard. During the night folks came across a unique, and real life, special Nativity scene. An abandoned dog was looking for a comfortable and protected place to sleep. So, he chose baby Jesus as his comforter and protector. No one had the heart to send him away, so he slept peacefully in the lap of the baby Jesus all night long. It looks like the dog is smarter than some people are. We should all have the good sense of this dog and cuddle-up to Jesus ' from time to time. Lets always remember that Jesus ' is there for us, during the good times or bad. Night or day, seek Him out, like this smart" Shepherd" dog did. Feel free to share this with your friends, to brighten their day, and to help everyone remember that Jesus is the reason for the season. Merry Christmas [Original ...

... responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. I can buy the fact that other mythical characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definitely a guy! Cupid flies around carrying sharp weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. However, as long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith, and Nat King Cole's version of" The Christmas Song ," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is. I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy !!! M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S! [Author Unknown-from 'Thomas S. Ellsworth ' (tellswor @slonet.org)-Ed: Anon.] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... . 12. 11. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. Act naturally Found missing Resident alien Advanced BASIC Genuine imitation Airline Food Good grief Same difference Almost exactly Government organization Sanitary landfill Alone together Legally drunk Silent scream British fashion Living dead Small crowd Business ethics Soft rock Military Intelligence Software documentation New York culture New classic Sweet sorrow Childproof" Now, then" Synthetic natural gas Christian Scientists Passive aggression Taped live Clearly misunderstood Peace force Extinct Life Temporary tax increase Plastic glasses Terribly pleased Computer security Political science Tight slacks Definite maybe Pretty ugly Twelve-ounce pound cake Diet ice cream Rap music Working vacation Exact estimate Friendly Fire And the Number one top OXY-Moron, 1. Microsoft Works [Author Unknown-from 'Kevin Rayner ' (otchurch @hotmail.com)] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... right awl stiles two reed, And aides me when aye rime. Each frays comes posed up on my screen Eye trussed too bee a joule. The checker pours o'er every word To cheque sum spelling rule. Bee fore wee rote with checkers Hour spelling was inn deck line, Butt now when wee dew have a laps, Wee are not maid too wine. And now bee cause my spelling Is checked with such grate flare, There are know faults in awl this peace, Of nun eye am a wear. To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should be proud, And wee mussed dew the best wee can, Sew flaws are knot aloud. That's why eye brake in two averse Cuz Eye dew want too please. Sow glad eye yam that aye did bye This soft wear four pea seas. [Author Unknown-from Jeff] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... much as a collapsed star. I wrestle it to the end of the driveway and the neighborhood dogs trot up to see what the Camerons will have on the breakfast buffet this morning. My daughter is right; we do throw too much stuff away. By the time we're finished, we've dragged so much junk out to the end of my driveway it resembles the inside of my garage. The shredder falls silent and the kids go to school, and what passes for peace at the Cameron house settles over the morning. Until next Wednesday. [by W. Bruce Cameron Copyright 1999-{ used with permission}] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... Why Teachers Weep Then Jesus took his disciples up on the mountain and taught them, saying:" Blessed are the poor in spirit, Blessed are the meek, Blessed are the merciful, Blessed are you who thirst for justice, Blessed are you who are persecuted, Blessed are the peacemakers.." And Simon Peter said," Do we have to write this stuff down ?" And Phillip said," Will this be on the test ?" And John said," I'm sorry. Would you mind repeating that ?" And Andrew said," John the Baptist's disciples don't have to learn this stuff !" And Matthew said," Huh ?" And Judas said," What does this have to do with real life ?" Then, one of the Pharisees, an expert in the law, said," I don't see any of this in your syllabus. Do you have a lesson plan? Is there a summary? Where is the student ...

... Second Opinion The doctor said I was too fat; The weight would have to go. I said to him 'Dear Doctor, ' There is something you should know. A second opinion is required To give me peace of mind, So I checked the yellow pages To see what I could find. If my weight will be discussed, Experts should be consulted, So I gave the matter serious thought, And this is what resulted. The second opinion will be done By the most qualified contestant; One who would not betray my trust, The chef from my favorite restaurant. [by: Joyce Guy (Joy Of Art Shop)-submitted by: Joyce Guy] Inspirational Poems SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? [Author ...

... people go when they expire. Wal-Mart: Where old people go when they retire. Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God. Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone. Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God. Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers. Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin. Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint. Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully. Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices. Heaven: Sam Walton-now a resident! Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola-now on sale! [Author Unknown-from 'Buffalos Chips ' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com)] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! But I'm sick and tired of being told that I am!-Monty Python May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-George Carlin Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma. Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.-John F. Kennedy Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.-Ashleigh Brilliant My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.-Ashleigh Brilliant Her kisses left something to be desired-the rest of her. Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less ...

... her age, the two young wranglers who would accompany us brought my mother a step stool. Unfortunately, they apparently assumed someone of my relatively young years ought to be able to hop right into the saddle. Wrong. After I made several clumsy attempts to pull myself up and over what seemed like the world ’ s tallest horse, both wranglers had to expend an embarrassing amount of effort shoving me into position. I was on a horse nicknamed RIP for Rest in Peace. This perfectly described the creature – he was already practicing for the time when he assumed room temperature. As soon as the ride started, RIP refused to move. But as a Duke devotee, I knew exactly what to do. “ Giddyup ,” I said to the horse. This appeared to greatly amuse my wrangler friends, but had no discernible effect on RIP. “ Giddyup ,” I repeated. RIP stood perfectly still, even the flies on his neck seemingly frozen ...

... , I pretty much leave the whole thing to God and my dog. Between the two of them I have sparse patches of yellow grass and dozens of holes which my canine has excavated out of sheer boredom. I'm also very tolerant of the aberrant behavior of my trees. If they want to turn brown and fling themselves to the ground, I figure it is no business of mine. For many years my" don't ask, don't chop" attitude toward trees allowed peaceful coλxistence, wherein I was the Lord of the Manor and they were my arboreal subjects. Then a monstrous Douglas Fir next to my house died of what I assume were natural causes; a sad passing brought to my attention by my neighbor Fred, who pointed out that the precarious lean of the tree meant that when its root system finally relinquished its grip on the earth, the thing would fall right through my roof." Well, Fred, then why don't you come ...

... in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Check out the following for examples: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. War does not determine who is right ...

... " Cat Resolutions" My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not leap into my human's chair which she has temporarily vacated, and then bite my human on the bum when she sits back down. I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie. I will not sniff at my male human's feet after he takes his shoes off, freeze my mouth open in disgust and then sniff my private parts to compare odors. My female human might find it amusing, but my male human does not appreciate it, especially in front of company. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium. I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink's drain. I will not bite my human on the rear while she is sitting on ...

... have a 9: 30 worship service. The 11: 00 will be hell as usual. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say" hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use the large double door at the side entrance. The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7: 00 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. Tonight's sermon-" What is hell ?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the North and South ends of the church. Babies will be baptized at both ends. Tuesday at 4: 00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early. This being Easter, Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Smith ...

... hair stitched to the box and with thick plastic manacles on her arms and torso. Barbie must either be a serious threat to national security or one very kinky doll. Whichever it is, we probably should not be allowing our children to play with her. The good news is that somebody is finally attempting to stop the insanity. Amazon.com has promised to begin replacing its clamshells with “ frustration-free ” packaging. Maybe by next year, Christmas morning will be a little more peaceful and a lot safer. And the clams can take back their shells.~Jackie Papandrew~2008, All Rights Reserved Jackie Papandrew is an award-winning writer, syndicated humor columnist, coffee addict and mom to a motley crew of children and pets who provide a steady stream of column ideas and dirt. She's also wife to a very patient man who had no idea, years ago when he still had time to escape, what he was getting himself into. Visit her website ...

... , which is … Oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys ' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Calgary, just after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter / gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) A: It's called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Will I be able to ...

... Bumper Stickers To Ponder If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You Jesus Loves You-The Rest Of Us Think You're An Idiot. Forget World Peace-Visualize Turning Off Your Turn Signal! Hang Up And Drive! Where There's A Will. I Want To Be In It! Ever Stop To Think, And Forget To Start Again? This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away? This Bumper Sticker Exploits Illiterates Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway Honk If Anything Falls Off He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Is Miles From The Next Exit I Haven't Lost My Mind-It's Backed-Up On Disk Somewhere [Author Unknown-from 'keepAhead '] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany) A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets. [WARNING: Australian snakes are*NOT*harmless]. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA) A: ...

... which basically was" Put Bruce Cameron in Charge of Everything" I didn't actually reach the President but the person who answered must have been taking notes on what I said because she kept begging me to slow down. Eventually she asked me if there was another language in which I would feel more comfortable." Yes !" I told her gleefully. I put that on my list of things to do. Learn to speak more comfortable languages. Arrange a summit for World Peace (Wednesday ?) Talk to Janet Jackson about recording my Showerhead song. Maybe go dancing with her later? Why shouldn't I drive a Corvette? I realized that the more coffee I drank, the more I drank -I was spastically sipping the stuff and was almost through the entire pot. But why not make more coffee? There was no bad fat! A telemarketer phoned and we talked for 45 minutes. I was a little hurt that after the second time we were disconnected ...

... way my grandma used to strain her gravy. Perhaps then my life wouldn ’ t be as strained as this goofy metaphor I ’ m beating into the ground here. Perhaps you ’ re wondering what on earth I ’ m talking about. Perhaps I ’ ve said “ perhaps ” once too often. Anyway, what got me thinking these deep thoughts about sauce is the advent of yet another holiday season. I know it ’ s supposed to be a time of peace on earth and good will toward men. And for the men, who ’ ve been ensconced on the couch since the beginning of football season, it works out just fine. But for the women, at least those in my family, there has not been a lot of holiday harmony since gravy came into the picture. See, I come from a Southern family in which gravy has assumed Holy Grail status. In my family, the quality of a girl ’ s ...

... aware that it is an offense under the postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status, which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Justice of the Peace, and that the mandatory details of his / her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he / she must quote in all dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they ...

... Navy version-" Twas the Night Before Christmas" 'Twas the night before Christmas, compartments were still, The sailors were sleeping, as most sailors will. The ditty bags hung by the lockers with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The men were all peacefully dreaming in bed As visions of liberty danced in each head. The Chief in his skivvies, hopped into his rack, Having just came from town and a quick midnight snack. When out on the deck there arose such a roar, I ran to the porthole to find out the score. I stuck out my head and started to shout," Just what in the world is this noise all about ?" A moon made for boon-docking showed with a glow, It was downright cold out, 'bout seven below. What I saw out there looked like those Mardi Gras floats, T'was a Captain's gig drawn by white Navy goats. In the boat ...

... Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work After Death Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant Stolen Painting Found By Tree Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84 War Dims Hope For Peace If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Deer Kill 17, 000 Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply Ban ...

... softest, cheapest object in the Vicinity As slow and gently as possible"" The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely Kill You"-Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)" A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to Its Maximum"-Jon McBride, astronaut" Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you"" There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime"-Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970 Basic Flying Rules:" Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go Near The edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there" [Author Unknown-from Steven, via 'Buffalos Chips ' (bufalos-g-jokes @yahoogroups.com)] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net ...

... . I will faithfully doze off when I am supposed to be writing inspiring works of great literary merit. Then, when I wake up with drool running down my chin and realize I ’ m running out of time, I will faithfully (and frantically) throw together a humor column about something stupid like midyear resolutions. As you can see, it is easy to escape the tyranny of all those New Year ’ s resolutions that never give us a moment ’ s peace. You too, my friend, can live a productive and satisfying life by simply resolving to do what you ’ re already doing. Just make sure you have clean towels in the house first.~Jackie Papandrew~2008, All Rights Reserved Jackie Papandrew is an award-winning writer, syndicated humor columnist, coffee addict and mom to a motley crew of children and pets who provide a steady stream of column ideas and dirt. She's also wife to a very patient man who ...

... . 2) A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife's permission to say so. JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw. LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. MISS: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. MISTRESS: Something between a mister and a mattress. MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. MRS: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition. SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place. WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet. [Author Unknown-from 'Aiken Drum ' ...

... , there would be a 100 percent decline in the annual number of deaths related to efforts to shoot cans off of heads. Also, if women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be, I sincerely believe this, virtually no military conflicts, and if there were a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of thoughtful notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon (which would be salads, with the dressing on the side). So I sincerely believe that women are wiser than men, with the exception of one key area, and that area is: clothing sizes. In this particular area, women are insane. When a man shops for clothes, his primary objective is to purchase clothes that fit on his particular body. A man will try on a pair of pants, and if those pants are too small, ...

... him to relax and unwind. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax. My how times have changed.... [Author Unknown-from 'Aiken Drum ' (AIKENSLongJoke @topica.com)] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...